When Parents Text

Lordy me, have you seen this site, When Parents Text? It is pretty freaking hilarious. I find that I can equally relate to the young'uns and thier parents, being in the no man's land in between the two -- not a Luddite, but still, I can't quite make texting an instinct. Fortunately for me, texting is the one communication means that my parents do not avail themselves of to torture me and provide you with endless entertainment. Hopefully no one will ever teach them how to manipulate that function or I'll end up with exchanges like this one. called "Morton/ Norton/ Nottingham" from the WPT:

Me:	I feel sick
Mom:	Take a Nottingham
Mom:	Take a Morton
Mom:	Norton
Mom:	Mortin
Me:	Did you get an Iphone?
Mom:	How did you know?

The thanks we get

You know what's great? When you hear your daughter laughing hysterically at the The Little Mermaid in the other room, and are so overwhelmed by the love for her that you cannot restrain yourself from rushing in, taking your darling child's angelic face in your hands and saying, "I love you more than anything in the world!" To which breathless declaration, she issues the reply, "GET OFF Mommy! I'm watching the MOVIE!"

Let's just say we don't get into the mothering racket for the thanks we get.

Paging all happy mom! Report to me please!

I'm writing an article on the secrets of happy new moms, and as I certainly don't have any useful advice in this arena besides "birth a kid that doesn't cry and drive you nuts," I need you to share your wisdom. You'll help me out and show the world how smart you are, by being quoted as an authority on parenting and happiness in a national parenting mag. I'm looking for moms of kids 0-2 years old who do any of the following:

Find time to pamper yourself – get a massage or manicure?

Rant in a journal?

Order in your fave food or cook extra and freeze it?

Stay in your PJS all morning?

Exercise during baby's naptime?

Sing off-key with your little one?

Go on date-night with your husband?

Take friends up on the offer to watch your baby?

Make life easy by leaving stuff where you need it?

Find ways to see the big picture?

Try not to compare yourself to other moms?

Have a glass of wine at the end of a long day?

If you have a personal experience doing any of these, or if you have another great tip to share of something small you do during your day to stay in a good mood, tell me about it. Please include your full name, hometown and the ages of you kids. You can email me off line if you'd like at amomamok {at} gmail.com

When winter's got you down, buy new hats

Or knit up some yourself, if you're the crafty type. One of the best perks of having youn children is that you can force adorable haberdashery on them. I remember one afternoon when Primo was a baby, I met up with a Mommy friend who told me her husband had banned infant clothing which worked like an animal costume, and had vowed to cut kitty ears off of any hat that crossed his threshold. I pointed out to her that one of the ways nature repays us for the pain of childbirth and postpartum is by giving the babies no ability to fight back when we dress them up like cute animals. Fair is fair.

Although my kids are no longer babies, I do like to get them to wear crazy hats whenever possible, particularly after January, when the winter begins to seem interminable. And now that I've discovered Etsy, there's no looking back.

My avant-guard mermaid daughter

Sometimes when I have conversations with my 3 year-old, I have to wonder if I’m hearing her right. The shit she says is so odd and random, the points often so unrelated to each other, that if you transcribed it and handed the script to Richard Foreman, you’d have one hell of an avant-guard play.

Part of what makes it all so odd is that she has taken to spending most of her free time in the bathtub, soaking in water, like Daryl Hannah in Splash! Whenever she’s got a minute, she asks to take a bath, and I don’t protest because frankly, it’s the safest and least stressful option for fun as far as Sec is concerned., If she’s not in the tub, with her goggles on, searching for Disney princesses she’s tossed to the bottom, she is climbing on top of the dresser, tearing up her brother’s artwork, writing on the wall with my lipstick or terrorizing the fish. The other morning, she was laying on her belly in the tub, propped up on her forearms like a mermaid, when I came in to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

“Are those your pajamas you’re wearing Mommy?” she asked, smiling under her shark goggles.

“Yes, I just woke up. So I’m wearing my pajamas,” I replied, putting toothpaste on my brush.

She tilted her head back a la Marilyn Monroe and began to giggle: “Oh you rascal!!!”

I was left wearing the quizzical look I often don when interacting with my daughter in the morning: “What are you talking about?”

She titled her chin back down and looked serious: “Ok, Mommy, why don’t you tell me all about it?”

It is like some computer program generates random catchphrases for her to use in response to what I thought was a regular, logically-progressive, content-oriented conversation.

I rather like the eccentric quality of her verbal volleys but its not for everyone. It drives Primo flat-out crazy when she gets goofy like that.

“What are you TALKING ABOUT? That doesn’t MAKE ANY SENSE! You are so ANNOYING!!!”

Isn’t it just like a man to want a strict linear narrative?

Survivors

Remember my amazing friend Amelia, who was pregnant in Port-au-Prince during the earthquake and miraculously survived? She told me her story, and its featured in this month's issue of American Baby magazine: I Survived Haiti's Earthquake

Here's to counting our blessings.

A New Year's Revolution

I don't know what will keep me going when the kids get old enough that they no longer make these insanely loveable slip-ups with big words. Occasionally, the kids' misspoken words are not just adorable but also poetic, as was the case when Primo and I discussed our New Years' "revolutions."

Primo's revolution is to try and hold his temper when his sister talks over him, a fantastic commitment if ever there was one.

My revolution is to eat more spinach salad. Its good for me.

David's is to work out another day a week.

Sec doesn't need the New Year to launch her revolutions. She's a bona fide rebel queen already.