Her two favorite expressions are, “You’re driving me nuts!” and “That’s very annoying.” It is something she tells Primo frequently, which isn’t such a big deal because, hey, she’s right, he can be very annoying, and its infinitely better than her stabbing him in the cheek with a pencil, which is how she used to respond. But when she says it to other two year-olds on the playground -- as in “Stop singing that song! Its driving me crazy!” – well, its embarrassing
Its also embarrassing when I hear her playing with her Wizard of Oz action figures.
“Glenda, you are being SO NAUGHTY!!!” she has Dorothy shriek, “You need to have a TIME OUT and you can FORGET about having DESSERT!!!”
But neither of those is as bad as when she gets to cursing. Last week, she called a little blond-haired boy a son-of-a-bitch. I could have died. I guess she wanted to be on the ladder he was on and she started off by demanding, “Move out of the way!!!! I need to go here!!!” but soon it devolved into her screaming crazy shit in his face like, “You’re not in charge of me!!! You’re a bad fussy!!!! FUSSY FUSSY!! Get out or I will spit at you!!! Son of a BITCH!!!!!”
Of course, sometimes it’s very affirming when she sounds just like me, especially when she takes on the role of Primo’s cheerleader. Like yesterday, when he was sitting quietly drawing one of his mega-opuses and she walked over and put her hand on his back.
“Oh Primo,” she said, breathless, “It’s so AMAAAAAAZING!!!” And them clapping her hands in delight, “I am so proud of you!!!!”
So, I'm not such a bad mom after all.
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