Friday, December 4, 2009

Monsoon Rainshower

For the past year or two, when we spend Christmas in Tennessee, my very sweet mother-in-law treats my husband’s sisters and I to an afternoon of beauty at the local spa/ salon. This year, since we’re all so cyber-saavy, she sent us a link to the spa website and asked us to tell her which treatments we’d prefer.

Now, I’m no expert in spa-life but I’m no novice either. I’m familiar with hot rocks and paraffin and know the difference between shiatsu and Swedish. But there was one item on the spa menu which totally threw me for a loop.

“What the hell is a “Monsoon Rainshower?” I asked David.

“A what?” he replied.

“It’s a body treatment,” I explained, “Says right here, “Monsoon Rainshower,” but no description.”

“I don’t know but it sounds really dirty.”

“I know, right? Don’t you think it HAS to be in some way related to a golden shower?”

“DO NOT get a Tennessee golden shower,” David cautioned. He said it like he had experience in that arena.

I was talking it over with my friend Lucy and she agreed that it was probably some version of Golden Showers except performed by a very large animal with quite a bit of urine, like an elephant or a buffalo. Hence the “Monsoon.” The website does specify that takes 15 minutes, after all, so it would take a fairly sizeable bladder to offer such a lengthy shower.


Spa-buffs, can you enlighten us? I’d really like to get the image of a buffalo pissing on me out of my head, if possible.