"The job had a mandatory 135+ hours a week of work and required the job holder to be on call at all times, day or night. Qualified candidates should have a knowledge of psychology, medicine, personal finance, culinary arts and basic technology skills. The job also had physical requirements: the ability to stand for hours, lift up to 75 pounds, be constantly moving and operate on little to no sleep."
Guess what? You did. It's called parenthood and you can not resign. Or get promoted. But you can also never get fired, so there's that.
You have to go watch this hilarious and tear-inducing video (made by a greeting card company, be forewarned) ins which they posted the above ad and interviewed the 24 people who replied.