Friday, August 26, 2011

Tornadoes and earthquakes and hurricanes, oh my!

I know I’m not saying anything new here but what the hell is going on with New York City this year?

The tornado last fall was a freaky thing. Thirty some-odd years (see how I did that?) living in this city and I’d NEVER heard of a tornado but, OK, hey, anything’s possible, sure. Now tornadoes are on the table.

But an earthquake? What. The. Fuck. Its not that I need extra reasons to like New York but I’ve always considered the lack of earthquakes to be one of the things we have over California. Those suckers decide to live on a fault line. Go figure. We don’t have to deal with that drama. Which is good because we have pleeeeenty of other drama to contend with.

I should’ve learned my lesson from the tornado, when I assured Primo (who was tornado-phobic before the event), that it would NEVER happen in NY because well, we just don’t get tornadoes. I had to listen to, “Mommy you LIED!” for six months after that. But now the earthquake’s making me a liar too. Because the day it happened, we were in Barnes and Nobles and Primo told me he’d overheard some ladies talking about how we’d had an earthquake and I said to him, patronizingly, “Honey, when you overhear people’s conversations out of context, you get confused and you get misinformation. We don’t have earthquakes here in New York.”

Then my best friend calls five minutes later and says, “So, did you feel it? The walls shaking?”

Nicely done.

And now, a few days later, a hurricane? Those, we have and I know about them, so its not outside of the realm of possibility but state of emergency? Evacuating Lower Manhattan and low-lying areas? Subways closed? Pack your emergency bag?

Come on.

Let’s just hope Irene is gentle and doesn’t knock the power out or anything: I’m tired enough of entertaining these kids and I don’t want to have to do it in the dark, with no television.