For Christmas, David got Primo a box set of the original Star Wars trilogy. It was just the sort of thing one sees at Costco and cannot bear to leave behind. We decided we would have a sort of a- home film festival, lasting three nights, in which we viewed the whole kit and caboodle. What the hell else is there to do in the boondocks of New Jersey, at my parent’s house, anyway? So we fired up the microwavable popcorn and launched ourselves into a galaxy far far away. As you can imagine, it was impossible for Primo not to get sucked into the early 80s heavenly goodness which is the Star Wars Trilogy. Except for the last few scenes of Return of the Jedi, with the Emperor, he didn’t even find it scary. He did have a few questions, beginning with this one: Why aren’t they doing anything besides fighting and trying to kill each other?
To which I replied: “It’s called a battle scene.”
Kid knows what the word epistolary means, but has never heard of a battle scene.
As a kid, I remember getting all moony for Mark Hamil and pining for braids as long as coil-capable as Carrie Fisher’s but the thing that Primo found most alluring about the movies of course, was the idea of a light saber. Really, I’d have to concur that there is no fictional weapon quite as perfect as the light saber: even the choice of the word “saber” as opposed to “sword” is impeccable and the clashing colors lighting up the darkness of those corridors and imperial chambers and the like, with each gesture accompanies by one of the most iconic sound effects of the 20th century – well, its nothing short of spectacular.
As soon as we were back in Brooklyn, Primo set about making his own light saber set, out of the slim silver LED flashlights we bought at – you guessed it – Costco, a few months ago, These flashlights make such ideal light sabers, I’m surprised the company hasn’t thought to market them to Star Wars fans with a label reading: "sizzling sound effect not included." Primo’s pal came over and the two of them had intergalactic battles all afternoon long. And if that’s not a rollicking, old-school good time, I don’t know what is.