And then THIS happened . . .

In the July 7th issue of People, on stands now!!

NOW I SEE YOU - NOW IN BOOKSTORES!!

At long last, the day has arrived -- you can find Now I See You at a bookstore near you! Go buy a copy, or just gaze as it's beautiful cover. And don't forget to tell your friends!

If you'd like to whet your palate, check out this excerpt of the book in New York magazine's The Cut!

Milestones they don't tell you about

There's a lot of milestones you expect: seeing your child off, at her first day of pre-school, taking pictures at Kindergarten graduation, and many other Hallmark moments I haven't encountered yet. But there are so many other little milestones that amaze and humble me, like the day your son has bigger feet than you.

We passed this milestone a few weeks ago, when I slipped my feet inside the work-a-day black faux leather shoes by the front door. Except that they felt really loose. So I took a closer look at realized they were Primo's shoes and they were too big on me.

Holy shit, I thought with wonder. Then followed a bittersweet combination of feelings. How could time be passing so fast? Will I blink and he'll be leaving for college? Was I doing a good enough job of being a mother? Was it too late to do better?   How wonderful that we've made it this far together! How happy I am, and grateful, to have a kid who's turning into a person i really like and want to spend time with.  How soon, I'll be gray and wrinkled and in a nursing home. Remembering the day my son was born, the first time I saw him. Sort of wishing he was a baby again. Sort of wishing he was graduating college, Wanting immediately to go kiss his big tousled head and admire his gargantuan man-sized feet.

Crying, in the foyer, near my front door, wondering what I came her to do in the first place.

These are the little moments that creep up on you.

Holy shit indeed.

That little word "don't" just makes all the difference

Terza is a wunderkind as relates to verbal expression; she's quite a talker and it's no surprise why, coming from this family of borderline pathological chatterboxes.

But she hasn't grasped one shockingly simple word and it's making life rather aggravating for me. Her lexicon doesn't appear to include the word "don't."

Let me be clear. She expresses the sentiment of "don't" - very, very frequently. She is all about NOT wanting something, NOT being on board. That's kind of her thing now. It's a shitty thing to be your thing but not altogether uncommon for a child of two years old.

She just doesn't know how to express this sentiment verbally. She's nailed down "No!" as well as "No way, Jose!" and, even "It's not fair!"

But, often, she says "I want it!" when she actually means, "I don't want it!" or even "I absolutely don't want it" or even, "There is nothing on God's green earth I want less than that abhorrent abomination of a thing you are offering me."

Yet, what she says is, "I want it!" This leads to some very confusing, and equally frustrating, interactions.

Case in point: she wakes from a nap, cranky as all hell, and I ask "Do you want some milk?" and she replies, in a snarl: "I want it!" and I go get it and when I give it to her, she slaps it out of my hand, hard, like I've just mortally insulted her, handed her a steaming pile of cow dung to ingest.

"I WANT IT!!" she shrieks.

"So, I"m giving it to you!" I reply.

"I WANT IT!" she reiterates, swatting at it again.

"You want it?" I confirm.

"NOOOOO!" she bellows.

"So you DON'T want it?" I try again.

"I," she starts, and I'm paying attention, really rapt here, "WANT. IT."

"Mommy doesn't understand," I say, "You want it or you don't want it?"

"I want it!" she screams, shaking her head.

This is the point at which I want to scream: "I AM LIVING IN CRAZY LAND!" Usually, I suppress this instinct though not always.

10 Ways Toddlers Are Like Drunks

The wildest my Saturday nights get lately is rocking out to Wheels On The Bus with Terza while making a dinner of the raviolis she threw on the floor. Still, when I stop to think about it, my new Saturday night companion isn’t all that different from my former ones, those late-twenty-somethings clutching cocktails and shouting to be heard above the music. There are (usually) fewer F-bombs dropped and more imitations of farm animals, yes, and there’s no doubt that my current date is a helluva lot cuter than the old ones, but still, when all is said and done, my toddler, like all toddlers, acts a lot like a raging drunk. Perpend:

1. They fall down constantly

2. When they talk, it frequently makes no sense

3. They trash your house

4. They’re prone to shouting and belligerence.

5. They cry for no good reason

6. They like to pull all-nighters

7. They’re always taking their clothes off. .

8. They piss themselves

9. One minute you’re their best friend, the next, their worst enemy

10. They fall asleep with a bottle in their hands.

Pantyhose can traumatize a child for life

I don't frequently wear pantyhose. Never been much of a fan really; just couldn't ever really understand the utility of the nude ones. I did go through a black fishnet phase - which I'm kind of still in, to be honest, my feeling sort of being that if I'm going to go through the trouble of wearing them, better make them not just visible but impossible to ignore. This is by the way, the same approach I take with lipstick. I don't have time for barely-there, and to tell true, it just was never my style anyway.

But recently, I had occasion to wear pantyhose. I was presenting at a conference and wearing a blazer. You kind of can't wear a blazer without wearing pantyhose. It's like the PB without the J. Plus, I figured it'd make me feel more professional.

I pulled on my black dress and struggled with the the control-top sand-colored pantyhose (and, by the way, I get their utility now that I need control-top. I TOTALLY GET IT) when Primo walked into my room. He did an old-school double take and then he stared at my legs. The look on his face was both perplexed and horrified.

"What," he ventured, "are you wearing?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, "You don't like this dress?"

"Not the dress," he pressed, "The other thing."

"These?" I asked, pointing to my legs, "These are pantyhose. You've never seen pantyhose?"

He scrutinized my face intently for a minute, trying to decide if I was joking, or if I'd gone totally out of my fucking mind.

"Why are you wearing that? What is it for?" He was waiting for a reasonable explanation.

I didn't really know myself, but I said something about "evening out the skin tone."

"But it looks exactly like your legs without them on," he observed.

"Sort of," I conceded, "Only, you know, polished."

He stood silently looking at me with his eyebrows raised for a few seconds. Then he said: "Mom. You look REALLY creepy." And he left.

I now suspect he suspects I'm a high-functioning lunatic. I guess I can never tell him about Spanx.

The Official Now I See You Playlist!!

My memoir, Now I See You, comes out in just under a month, and I've gathered together all sorts of bonus features to enrich your reaching experience or to just elongate it, in case you're not ready to part with my story just yet (I mean, you can always just tune into this blog or read any number of a million essays I've written but, if that's STILL not enough, you'll have these bonus features). They also make the PERFECT fixings to toss into making a kick-ass, epic, BOOK CLUB MEETING!!!! For Nonny's (formerly) secret recipes, and a complete book club discussion guide, go to the special page I built on my website, and to get your groove on, here's the definitive Now I See You playlist, featuring a few songs mentioned in the book, a few songs by blind musical artists and a ton of songs that relate to the very vast theme of light, darkness, blindness, and eyes. (seriously, you'll be shocked by how many there are). Plug these babies into Spotify and you've got yourself a whole night of tunes. . .

THE OFFICIAL NOW I SEE YOU PLAYLIST

Blinded by the Light, Bruce Springsteen
Hit the Road Jack, Ray Charles
I've Got A Woman, Ray Charles
Sir Duke, Stevie Wonder
My Bionic Eyes, Liz Phair
I'd Rather Go Blind, Etta James
Isn't She Lovely, Stevie Wonder
Shady Grove, Doc Watson
Oh Yoko, John Lennon
Ne Me Quitte Pas, Nina Simone
Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain, Willie Nelson
Con Te Partiro, Andrew Boccelli
Love Is Blindness, Jack White
Dark Eyes, Bob Dylan
Everlasting Light, The Black Keys
I See The Lights, Mandy Moore
I Wear Sunglasses At Night, The Valiant Thivees
I'm Beginning To See The Light, Bobby Darin
I Can See Clearly Now, Johnny Nash
Amazing Grace, Sufjan Stevens
This LIttle Light of Mine, Bruce Springsteen