Monday, April 16, 2012

Still Crazy, After All These Years

When Primo was a newborn, I would call the pediatrician about EVERYTHING. You know how people like doctors and teachers say there are no dumb questions. That was not true in my case. I asked almost exclusively dumb questions. I remember one day in Primo's first week calling the ped and saying, "Something must be wrong. Otherwise, why is the baby crying?"And the doc had to break the news to me that babies cry. A lot. For apparently no reason. Its just an occupational hazard. Every time Primo wailed, I wanted to bring him in for a check up. And I remember too that I was so embarrassed about pestering these nice medical professionals with what I knew were dumb questions and I'd apologize and the doctors would say, "Its your first so you're allowed. But you can't do it with number two."

And I don't think I did. After all, I'd just been through the baby thing a year or two before. It was still fresh.

But now that its been five long, memory-erasing years since I had a newborn, I've reverted to my natural state of being hyper neurotic. I asked the nurse at the hospital if it was normal to newborns to have stinky farts. I asked how you could tell the difference between snot caused by a cold and snot caused by amniotic fluid getting sneezed out. When the doc told me at Terza's first visit that I should call if she had a fever of more than 100.4, I had to ask how I would know if she had a fever of more than 100.4.

"You'll take her temperature," she replied.

"Yes, yes of course," I said, as if I hadn't just asked the dumbest question in the known universe, "But how will I know to take her temperature? At 100.4 she won't feel hot, will she? Should I just take her temperature regularly, a few times a day?"

"No," the doc said, "You should definitely NOT do that. She'll feel hot. She'll be cranky. Trust me, you'll notice."

When I brought her in for a weight check at day 7, I was worried she wouldn't have gained enough weight. And when the doctor said she'd gained a whopping 12 ounces in five days, I instantly began to worry shed gained TOO much weight, Did she had a slow metabolism?

I am a NUT. But at least this baby doesn't get short shrift in the neuroses department. There's that.