Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Shitty Christmas Gifts For Your Kids

I just died laughing at this blog post by Drew at on  Shitty Christmas Presents For Your Kids. Died.

My highlights? His description of giving clothes as gifts (someone should clue my mother in because every year she gives clothes to the kids and every year they almost vomit in thier mouth and I have to yell at them for being ingrates and the whole thing is a big pain in my ass) :
"Clothes aren't a gift. Children know full well that you bought them that shirt for your own sake, so that you could treat little Kayleighanna as your own personal American Girl doll. They aren't falling for that."
His riff on the outrageous cost of American Girl dolls (which we, by some act of grace have thus managed to avoid mainly because I tell Sec "Uh huh, don't even think of asking for one - they're too expensive):
"Is she an ACTUAL girl? Can she grow up to help with dishes and whatnot?"
His definition of Duplos:
"giant Legos made for stupid children"
And his tirade at parents that give their kids his own (or, as he puts it "its own") Ipad:
"Screw you. Your child is an entitled little shit and I hope he trips and falls in the mud and his little iPad gets ruined and he cries all the way home in the back of your BMW SUV because you clearly own a BMW SUV."

I think Drew is my ideal match blogger husband. If we raised kids together, our offspring would curse like sailors and have VERY good taste in everything.