Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Spring Break Travel or, this is why Mommy needs a drink

A glimpse into Spring Break travel, with my crazy children

This is what 20 Questions sounds like in our car:

Me: "OK, so its a man, he's from Europe but not Europe. He has a moustache. And he's a playwright. And he's not Shakespeare. Is it Moliere?

Primo: "Mommy! I don't know who that is!"

Me: "OK, I give up. Who is it?"

Primo: "Stanislavski!"

This is what it sounds like when we get to security:

Seconda: "This is too crowded! I want my OWN airport!"

Primo: "What if someone sneaks a bomb in here? I saw it on the news, at Nonnie's house."

Terza: "Wah. Wah. WAAAAAAAH."

This is what it sounds like waiting at the gate:

Seconda: "Are you saying my butt is Oscar the Grouch?"

Primo: "No, I am saying it is Oscar the Grouch's roommate."

And this is what it sounds like at 12:30 am, while David is trying to attach the infant car seat in the rental, and his hand is bleeding for some enigmatic reason related to the inferior LATCH system:

Me: "I'm not putting the baby in that pierce of junk. Just look at it! Its flopping around like crazy. Why even BOTHER with a car seat if its not installed properly?"

David: "Can you back the bleep off! I'm bleeding! Literally bleeping bleeding over here!"

Seconda: "I'm hungry! Can I have a milkshake?"

Me/ David simultaneous: "FORGET IT!" "Are you KIDDING ME?"


Me: "Just go get another car seat from the guy! Get another one!"

Primo (sobbing): "I am having terrible growing pains! I can't take it! I"m in agony! It hurts! And I"m so tired! Tell Sec to stop talking! She is always bothering me! WHY DID WE HAVE TO TAKE A FLIGHT THAT LANDS AFTER MIDNIGHT????"

Me: "Everyone is going to lose dessert!"

Primo: "We already had dessert."

Me: "Tomorrow, then! And the next day!"


But that's all behind us now.

Until our return flight.