Tuesday, November 10, 2009

How to feel like a SuperMom in 10 minutes

Since I’ve given up on being a SuperMom but will never give up on convincing myself that I am one, I offer to you, dear readers, tip number two on how to feel like a SuperMom in 10 minutes. Unlike my previous recommendation about dressing up for Halloween, this one has nothing to do with alleviating my own feelings of douchiness for wearing a foot-high wig and bedclothes as a dress.


This idea comes from a real SuperMom who told me in passing that she has afternoon tea with her kids, with real, antique china and cloth napkins every day. I was like, “You do WHAT?” I loved the idea immediately for several reasons:

A. Tres continental! Since I can’t make it to Europe anymore, I can at the very least do as the British do, in Brooklyn. If there is one thing I am not, it is refined. But having afternoon tea means instant class.
B. I love, and I mean, looooove tea sandwiches. I discovered this in college, where there was an Elizabethan Club (there’s nothing dorky about it, thank you very much) which had afternoon tea every Friday featuring the most spectacular crust-less cucumber sandwiches known to man. Who would have ever thought a little cucumber and cream choose on some hard bread could make such magic? When I was in my first trimester with Primo and couldn’t keep anything down I went through a few weeks where the only thing that seemed at all appealing were cucumber sandwiches and buffalo wings. (Tip to the preggos out there: if you have severe morning sickness and want buffalo wings, designate someone to stop you from ordering them. Really, Trust me)
C. Since I never, not once, have had the patience to make cucumber sandwiches for tea time with my children, I serve them cookies. I like cookies, too, especially with tea. Also, children like cookies. And you don’t feel like such a bad mom giving them cookies when they are using china. Its like the positive force of fancy plates eradicates the negative force of the cookie.
D. There is no kind of play more innocent and wholesome, more nostalgic for days of yore, than a tea party.

There are, incidentally, real reasons to have a tea party with your children like the fact that its quality time you spend together in play, you can teach them social skills, and get kids to practice motor skills by pouring tiny pots into tiny cups. But really, all that pales in comparison with the fact that after you’ve done it, you will feel a terrific sense of self-satisfaction, a huge surge in confidence. You will want to tell everyone you see:

“I had a tea party with my children today, with china and crumpets and stuffed animals and everything! I’m an UBER-MOM!!!!!!’

And at the end of the day, that is really what its all about, isn’t it?