Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Online jerkwads and facebook fascists and Uma Thurman

I juat read this great, funny, insightful Salon article called

Everybody Hates Mommy

The witer, Lynn Harris, tries to figure out why the hell Park Slope Mommy is suddenly Public Enemy Number 1. And in investigating this, she ventures that maybe its because everybody seems to hate mothers in general (at least white, urban ones). She points to the vicious comments she got when she wrote a piece for the Times about how people tended not to offer her a seat on the subway when she was pregnant; variations on the theme of "I didn't knock you up, lady. Stop feeling so damn entitled."

Big subject. But as Thanksgiving is tomorrow and there is shit to cook and balloons to watch being inflated I will offer these points:

1. A reference to Jocasta in the same breath as "anonymous online jerkwad factor"? Loving it.

2. I have never run anyone over with my stroller as I rushed to pilates class or Whole Foods, mainly because I can't afford either. But were I offered a free trial, boo-yah! Watch out singletons because I'll made roadkill of whoever stands in the way of my time on the reformer ir fair-trade organic, locally-grown and sustainable stuff.

3. Did you know you can't post pictures of moms breastfeeding on facebook? I'd protest those fascists if I wasn't oh-so-totally hooked. Plus facebook affords people the chance to publicly "like" me. But man, what the what?

4. I didn't see Motherhood - and if you did, feel free to enligthten us with your review. But if I wsa Uma and heard that by making a Mommy movie some asswipe said he'd never jerk off to me again, I imagine I'd feel two things simultanesouly. Relief-- one less scheeveball stalker to worry about -- and also total rage. I'd feel so enraged that I'd post a big old video of my childbirth on youtube followed by a video of me manually expressing brestmilk from breasts with cracked nipples. Oh, what? You don't find this hot? This is where you came from, blockhead.

But that's just me.