Year in Review

I know its not my style, but I'm going to hit the pause button on my complaining and be grateful for a minute.  2012 was a year unlike any other in my life, a year so packed with huge, life-changing events for my family and I, all of them positive, that I'd be a real douche-bag if I didn't stop for a moment to give thanks. I realize that its highly unlikely I'll ever have another year so full of big leaps forward and occasionally, even I have to savor the moment, rather than kvetch.

This year, I

Welcomed a new member to our family
Sold an apartment
Bought an apartment

and

Sold my first book

Yep, its true. In all the hubbub, I've neglected to spread the news that my memoir, Now I See You, was bought by St. Martin's Press and will be in a bookstore near you about one year from now!  You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll hear all my dirty secrets and some not-so-dirty ones, too. So get psyched (but not too psyched yet, I mean,  pace yourselves, because you've got a bit of a wait still) because I am psyched, and I am grateful and I am crossing my fingers that 2013 will be as good to me, and to you, as last year was.

Happy New Year folks! Here's hoping your resolutions last 'til at least next week. May your days be full of laughter and your nights be full of uninterrupted sleep!

A New Year's Revolution

I don't know what will keep me going when the kids get old enough that they no longer make these insanely loveable slip-ups with big words. Occasionally, the kids' misspoken words are not just adorable but also poetic, as was the case when Primo and I discussed our New Years' "revolutions."

Primo's revolution is to try and hold his temper when his sister talks over him, a fantastic commitment if ever there was one.

My revolution is to eat more spinach salad. Its good for me.

David's is to work out another day a week.

Sec doesn't need the New Year to launch her revolutions. She's a bona fide rebel queen already.

New Year's Resolutions, blast from the past edition

I just found a piece of paper which was titled. "New Years’ Resolutions 2000." And it reads:

1. Stop saying “Fabulous”

2. Don’t talk so much like a sailor

3. Exercise

-- contortion

-- ballet classes with Maestro

4. Spend less money

5. Overcome the Joyce Leslie fantaticism

The good news is in the last 11 years, I have managed to succeed in resolutions 1 and 5, the bad news is that I have to renew all the other ones and if you replace the word "fabulous" with "douche bag" and "Joyce Leslie" with "woot.com" the others totally stand, too.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Happy New Year!

In my whole life, I never heard of something like that

I’ve always had conflicted feelings about New Year celebrations. On the one hand, I like to party. Champagne is my all-time favorite beverage. I love fireworks. And being the meditative woman I am, I enjoy reflecting back on the year and committing to promises for the year to come which I have no real intention of fulfilling.

Yet I never want to go out on New Years. Even before the kids and the challenge of finding a New Year’s sitter, Dec 31^st was the one day of the year I didn’t want to be at a party. So it has actually come as a relief to have so many good excuses not to pay $150 a head at some restaurant or attend a dinner party with a bunch of people I don’t really know or (worst of the worst) brave the frost and the freaks at Times Square.

Now we stay in on New Years, have a few friends over, watch the ball drop and get in bed by 12:15.

Either that or we go to my parents.

Going to my parents is considerably less enjoyable than staying home, usually, but much more exciting. You never know what kind of throw-down’s going to unfold, although it’s a good bet it will feature my mother. Also, their apartment has a stunning view of the fireworks from Tavern on the Green. Also, they import my grandmother in to cook the whole thing – riceballs, homemade pizza, manicotti, roast pork, vegetables doused in garlic, the whole kit and caboodle. So there’s that incentive.

This New Years at my parents was pretty tame, actually. Red wine had a sedative effect, and all was peaceful around the table. You know it’s a good meal when my grandmother starts making dirty jokes.

Yes, the highlight of New Years was listening to my grandmother talk about women with two vaginas.

Don’t ask how we got started on it. I think it began with general pregnancy issues, then we got onto women with half a reproductive system, and then it was only a hop skip and a jump to women with two uteri and of course, two vaginas.

“Dio mio!” my grandmother said, “Never in my whole life I ever hear about something like that!”

She pondered a moment, and the offered this: “A woman like this could have two men – one for the weekends and one for the week! And she wouldn’t be cheating!”

It was a real Hallmark moment. Almost as memorable as what Jennifer Lopez wore for her Times Square performance. David thinks it was a costume from Cats: the musical. All I have to say is I think J Lo’s New Year’s resolution should be to fire her wardrobe manager.