Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Psychedelic Mind Trip, courtesy of Google

I was doing a little googling, just doing me some riveting research for a health article about germs I'm working on. And I discovered something.

When you type the word "are" in the google search bar, google graciously offers to finish your sentence by prepopulating the search bar with, I guess, the most commonly-searched phrases. This is what popped up:

are vampires real

Not precisely what I was looking for. Yet, I guess, a burning question for many.

Under that were the following options:

are you afriad of the dark
are ghosts real

Those are some thrilling inquiries. But then there is a shift, away from speculations about the supernatural, into the arena of the exceedingly mundane.

are banks open on Columbus Day
are sinus infections contagious
are you being served
are shingles contagious

Wow. Shingles? Really? I'm shocked that many people worry about the Shingle menace.

Then, the supernatural returns:

are aliens real

And lastly, one more question about holiday closings:

are banks open on veterans day

It is as though the google pre-populating consciousnesses has split personality disorder, and one personality is a four-year old boy at bedtime and the other is a 60 year-old hypochondriac who's tight on funds. And they keep battling each other.

Show of hands: how many of you are, right now, wondering about the aliens? About the sinus infections? About being served?

You know where to go for the answers.