Snow White Adventure Birthday

When I asked Sec what kind of a birthday party she wanted, the answer did not surprise me. It would be a Snow White Birthday. But I dared to dream that there was a way to throw a Snow White Birthday that didn't make me feel like I was Disney's bitch.I'm not sure I succeeded, but I did manage to nearly die trying, and to throw a pretty pretentious princess party. So for that, I do deserve credit.

Thus the "Snow White Adventure Party" was born.

First, we gave the kids feral animal masks, to pretend they were the wild beasts who nearly tore SW to pieces in the Enchanted Forest:

Then I invited children to consult, if they were so inclined, our library of Snow White tales from around the world (they were NOT so inclined):

Then I cracked open the craft box and things started hopping. I don't have pictures of this stuff because I was too frantic running around and making sure the children had enough adhesive rhinestones and the like. But I will tell you what I learned: the only thing four and five year old girls want at a party is more and more surfaces on which to spread glitter glue. I handed them each a magic mirror to decorate, some string on which to put Fruit Loops for an edible necklace, and then, I handed over the crowns made out of poster board which I had spent LITERALLY hours drawing and cutting out by hand. The reason it took hours is that I am nota very talented artist and I don't have a very good sense of perspective. So it took going through several sheets of poster board - all the while, worrying about how I'm murdering trees with each artistic failure - before I got a decent crown to use as a template. So I cut out exactly enough crowns for each kid and basically had to tell them, as I handed them out, "This will be your one and only shot at this. Don't fuck it up, now."

We did some games:

Duck Duck Dwarf
Pass the Poison Apple
Potato Sack Race (yeah, that one wasn't themed but I has the sacks, so what the hell?)
And of course. . .
Pin the crown on Snow White.

Then it was time for party bags, in which I placed a printed copy of the original Grimm's fairytale (I'm shocked I didn't get more emails from irate parents whose kids woke in the wee hours with nightmares). I then gave the kids the materials to act out their own AUTHENTIC Snow White tale - with laces to suffocate each other with, apple to choke on, and a "poison" hair comb. At first, I didn't include parentheses around the word "Poison" but then I panicked that parents might think it was actually poison and try to sue me or something. Candy bracelets and pixie sticks need no justification, ever.




But no party would be complete without a cake that took me half the night to create but looked as if a child had done it. This time, I was fixated on making a special glass coffin cake with Snow White lying dead on top, and the dwarves keeping guard. Finally, I thought of the perfect way to do it -- the butter dish:


And so, another overblown theme party is behind me. Next year, I swear I'm putting on a movie and serving popcorn. End of story.