Friday, April 9, 2010

How to get a baby boy or girl

Since the dawn of man, people have been trying to figure out how to conceive babies of a specific gender. There are books about it with various crazy strategies to increase the chances of having a girl, or a boy. But I am here to tell you that yesterday my grandmother told me the secret.

Yes, I now know how to conceive a specific gender, and I will share it with you.

Here’s what my grandmother told me.

"You know, in my time, everybody used to say it was the woman’s fault if she didn’t have a boy baby, and you know, these men would get mad at her. ‘Why didn’t you give me my boy?’ and it was terrible. Me, I don’t care. Me, I was so happy I got two daughters and I got five granddaughters. But anyway, all these time everybody thought it was the woman’s fault and they blame her and call her names. Sonofbitch.”

She went on:

“But now, of course, they find out it’s the man’s fault. He’s one who makes it a girl or a boy. He’s the one who plants the seed, you know.”

This still was unclear to me, but thankfully, she went on to clarify:

“You don’t plant a tomato and get a pepper. You understand?”

So there you have it. Men, it’s up to you. Get your seeds straightened out before planting time.

Me, I’m grateful my husband likes a diverse assortment of vegetables because I hit the jackpot and got a tomato AND a pepper.