Thursday, June 3, 2010

I wish having a baby were that easy

One of the biggest benefits of having gone through childbirth (twice) is that I now have a rich appreciation for how ridiculous the birth scenes are on TV and in film. You know the routine.

First contraction hits. Amniotic fluid gushes all over the expectant mom's feet. She grabs her belly and yells, 'I'm having the baby!" Expectant dad has a full freak-out, running to the car but foretting the keys, pulling away from the house without his wife in the car.

Then speeding off the the hospital, running red lights. They leave the car at the front door of the hospital (This is my favorite part. There's no VALET service at the hospital). Mom is screaming. Dad is sweating. She barely makes it into the delivery room and she is bellowing now, cursing at her husband and everyone around her. It has been five minutes and the baby is crowning. When the dad sees what's happening, he faints. Nurses revive him, causing more cursing from the mom.Then the baby pops up, perfectly clean with no umbilical cord.

Done and done.

If you are a fan of yelling at the TV, "Give me a BREAK!" during these scenes, you'll like Babbles' list of the
Top 5 Totally Unrealistic Movie Births

Any of your own to add?