Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The imaginary extended family

When my daughter had one imaginary friend, it was charming. Now that she has created an entire extended imaginary family, it’s a different story.

In the beginning, there was Betsy. Bad, bad Betsy – impulsive, pleasure-seeking, lawless Betsy. Soon, however, Seconda started mentioning Betsy’s sister Tipi.

“Her name is Tipi?” I asked, “Is she Native American?”

Seconda nodded.

“And she is a statue which came to life. And she has a bug body.” she elaborated.

“Let me get this straight. It turns out that your imaginary sister, Betsy, has another sister, a half-bug, fully Native American, imaginary girl who used to be a statue?”

Seconda nodded, “And she is VERY naughty.”

Big surprise.

I heard a lot about Betsy and Tipi and their unending rivalries, fistfights and terrible shenanigans for a while. Then Sarah entered the picture. I’m not sure how, if at all, she is related to Betsy, Tipi and my daughter, but the good news is that she is NOT a bad seed imaginary friend. She is actually a very good influence on Seconda. Sarah is honest, kind, law-abiding. Sarah puts the needs of others before herself. Sarah plays well with others. Sarah is a dream child and I’m proud to claim her as my imaginary granddaughter.

Of course, the poor girl doesn’t stand a chance with the rest of the brutes that populate Seconda’s imaginary world. You wouldn’t BELIEVE the injustice she’s subjected to.

“One time, Betsy took all of Sarah’s cookies and all them all up and she didn’t have ANY!”

“One time, Sarah was playing with her favorite Barbie doll and Tipi and Betsy grabbed it right out of her hands and then they TEASED HER and said, “You can’t get us, na-na-nany-pooh-pooh.”

“One time, Tipi cut Sarah’s hand off!”

“One time, Sarah’s head got cracked open and her BRAIN FELL OUT!”

Oh, the window these imaginary friends give to Seconda’s soul. I wouldn’t mind putting some curtains on it.