Booyah, Brooklyn Boulders

Yeah, we are super-hip. In our spare time, we rock-climb on 3th Avenue. Got myself a Mamapedia deal for four people to rock climb all the live-long day at Brooklyn Boulders, so I took Primo and my pops and sis. I thought it'd be as easy as showing up but apparently, you can't just hold the rope, you've got to get certified as a belayer. It took me like fifteen minutes on the phone with the very patient Bklyn Boulders guy to even understand the word "belayer."

"We need a delay-er?" I asked, "To pace us?

"A melee-a? Am I saying that right? Melee-a?"

"Ohhhhh, a belater. We need a belater. Got it. What's that?"

Turns out my sister, whose been living in California, knows how to "belay." so after sending my pop off to get certified too, we had plenty of rope-handlers. After I got over the horror of wearing those harnesses which squeeze a very unappealing part of your upper thigh -- in public -- I began my inaugural climb.

Pretty freaking exhausting stuff, this rock climbing. I guess that's the whole point. All in all, I enjoyed it, particulalry the climb which I designed specifically so I could step on the cool grip shaped like a screaming human head. Primo watched me from halfway up his climb and he shouted, "STEP ON THE HEAD MOMMY! ON THE HEAD!" and I was like, "I"M TRYING HONEY! I'M JUST SO TIRED!" But in the end, I stepped on the head and that's when I decided to call it a day.

After that, Primo and I headed to the slackline, which is a hipper way of saying "High Wire," which is what we were calling it til some better-informed hipsters corrected us. I am referring, of course, to the tightrope. Except this one isn't high, but low, so you can practice. It was incredibly hard and incredibly fun and while my dad and sis climbed the wall like there was a pot of gold waiting on the other side, Primo and I worked that slackline like it was closing time. Yet another reason I love that kid -- he strangely shared my love of circus arts.

So yeah, I'd rock climb again. Especially now that I've put in the legwork learning the word 'belayer."