Monday, May 23, 2011

Housewives Hangover

It’s a funny thing about being married and living in a tiny apartment with your spouse. You have to wait til your old ball and chain goes out to indulge in guilty pleasures.

I am referring, of course, to reality TV. Specifically the Real Housewives of New York. Or the spin off, Bethenny Ever After. Occasionally, Sister Wives and yes, every so often, Mob Wives. Basically, anything about crazy wives. That’s what I’m into.

Incidentally, David does the same thing when I go out except he watches shows about zombies, vampires or sociopaths. Not that different from my preferred programming except that his is fictional. I’m sure he watches all sorts of other stuff, too, on the internet, if you know what I mean, but I don’t inquire. A little privacy goes a long way.

Last night, David went to a concert and after the kids finally fell asleep, nigh on 10pm, I found my way onto Entertainment on Demand. There I found a veritable TROVE of Real Housewives just waiting for me to plunder it, And I plundered, oh, how I plundered.

I couldn’t stop myself from watching, as one watches a train wreck, the awful, irredeemable interactions of Sonja and LuAnn and Ramona. Part of the appeal of watching is trying to figure out who I hate more. Its an engaging task because who I hate more is always changing. They’re all so awful. But I’d have to say Sonja wins as most detestable personality. Between the lack of integrity and intelligence and the overload of ego, she can’t help but be a real front runner in that category. The Most Likeable easily goes to Cindy, single mother of twin babies and successful businesswoman, but I think I like her simply because she’s one of the only brunettes and has a great Brooklyn accent. Most Attractive goes to LuAnn who must’ve made the same deal with the devil Marisa Tomei did, because that broad, who’s got to be at least 45-50, looks more youthful than I did as a teenager AND looks like she hasn’t had any work done.

I’m suffering today, I’ll tell you that much. I watched so much I have a Housewives Hangover. I’m glad David will be home tonight so he can intervene.