Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Inappropriate Questions People Ask Me Now

As you may guess if you'd read my blog before, I don't have a keenly-developed sense of privacy or decorum. I don't particularly even have a good grasp myself of the difference between appropriate and inappropriate conversation, and I have a tendency to overshare. But even I know you shouldn't ask a woman who is not on your speed dial if she meant to get pregnant or not.

And here's the thing: EVERYONE has been asking that with this most recent pregnancy. Didn't come up the first or second time but now, its just fair game.

I don't actually mind the question because my answer is simple and unequivocal and that is, for the record -- yes, I meant to, mine is a planned pregnancy, thanks very much for asking. The which always seems to surprise people, leading me to wonder why? is there a reason you'd think I didn't mean to get knocked up? Am I blundering so obviously in the mom department that its beyond the pale I'd dare to procreate again? Am I of such poor means and circumstances that its an outrageous proposition? Am I out of my freaking mind? It makes a gal, well, a bit defensive.

And then I think: what if it hadn't been planned? Would I then be compelled to choose between lying and calling my kid an "accident"? I mean, the go-to phrase people like to use is "happy accident" but still. My point is: its a little like asking someone if their boobs are real or how much they paid for their apartment. Its fine if they volunteer the info but dude, don't ask, no matter how much you're dying to settle a bet. Exercise a little restraint. Or, as my mother would put it: show some class.